Moving on

After that day, I thought I could conquer the world by myself. I assumed my mom didn't care because she was taking care of my little sister and being pregnant again. She did care. She was just oblivious to what was going on with me. Had she known, I'm sure that she would've found any way possible to help me out. That's the way my mom is.
I distanced myself from everyone. I figured if I did that, then I couldn't get hurt anymore. I stayed to myself as much as I could. I didn't even really hang out with my friends anymore. I spent a lot of time in my room.
I tried to look happy. I tried to hide the feeling. I tried to hide the fact that everything around me just made me want to shed tears. I constantly had that feeling of emptiness and the ache of hurt in my chest. I constantly felt betrayed.
I watched as my friends pursued relationships and do things together. I watched as my sister grew a relationship with a boy who eventually became her husband. Jealousy set in. Anger set in and the hurt grew.
Not only did my world feel like black and white and lifeless, but I felt a huge mixture of negative emotions. I didn't know how to deal with them or how to change them. So I made a plan.
Tune in tomorrow to see what it is.

Comments